Now children, you can have one piece of candy tonight and save the rest for...
Oh, Noah, Noah! Save us! Save us!
Bart as drowning people: Agugugug! Glug glug glug. Oh, Noah, Noah! Save us! Save us!
Bart as Noah: No!
And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher?
Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father? And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher? Wasn't that a beautiful cartoon?
Academy Award Playhouse now returns you to Hercules Versus the Martians.
Academy Award Playhouse now returns you to Hercules Versus the Martians.
A rabbi would never exaggerate.
A rabbi would never exaggerate. A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts, he tells stories that may never have happened, but he does not exaggerate.
You'll do as I say or you'll get such a zetz that you won't even know what hit you!
Krusty the Clown: Papa? When I grow up, can I be a clown?
Rabbi Krustofsky: No! A clown is not a respected member of the community.
Krusty the Clown: But I wanna make people laugh.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Herschel, life is not fun. Life is serious. Seltzer is for drinking, not for spraying. Pie is for noshing, not for throwing.
Krusty the Clown: But, Papa--
Rabbi Krustofsky: But nothing! You'll do as I say or you'll get such a zetz that you won't even know what hit you!
Um... Is it right to buy a Chrysler?
Krusty the Clown: My father was the most respected man in the Lower East Side of Springfield. People would come from miles around to ask his advice.
...
Man: Rabbi, should I buy a Chrysler?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Eh, could you rephrase that as a, as an ethical question?
Man: Um... Is it right to buy a Chrysler?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Oh, yes! For great is the car with power steering and dyna-flo suspension!
This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated.
Krusty the Clown: Ooh, SEX-CHAT!
Voice: You've reached the Party Line. In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party with some of the world's most beautiful women. Now, let's join the party!
Krusty the Clown: Hello?
Man 1: Hello?
Man 2: Hello?
Apu: Are there any women here?
Krusty the Clown: Hello?!
Apu: Are you a beautiful woman?
Krusty the Clown: Do I sound like a beautiful woman?!
Apu: This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated.
I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent.
I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent.
-- Bart Simpson
Dear Krusty: This is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302, respectfully returning his badge.
Dear Krusty: This is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302, respectfully returning his badge.
This could be the start of something big!
You're walking along the street or you're at a party
Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig, dig, dig
This could be the start of something big!
Lousy mildew! Eh. That's good enough.
Miss Pennycandy: I'm sorry to inform you that Krusty will once again not be joining Bart for dinner.
Marge: Oh, dear! This is the fifth time he's cancelled. How can he hurt someone who loves him so?
Miss Pennycandy: Oh, Mrs. Simpson, I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question. I apologize for him. Something really important came up at the last minute.
Krusty the Clown: Lousy mildew! Eh. That's good enough.
Do you even know what button you pushed?!
Voice: Fifteen seconds to core meltdown.
Ari: Just do what you did before.
Homer: All right. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
Voice: Crisis has been averted. Everything is super.
Ari: Thank you, Homer, for saving my plant with that idiotic rhyming! Do you even know what button you pushed?!
Homer: Sure -- "moe"!
You be good.
Bart: Thanks for sticking up for me.
Marge: What makes you think I did it?
Bart: Who else would?
Marge: Aww. You be good.
Bart: I will.
Sorry, Maggie. Game's over.
Milhouse: Milhouse to Bart. Do you wanna come over and play?
Bart: Really? We can be friends again? Did your mom die?
Milhouse: Uh I don't think so.
Bart: Well, who cares? Milhouse, I'll be right there. Sorry, Maggie. Game's over.
Please, please, let them be friends.
All Bart and Milhouse have is each other. They're too young for girls and they're a popular target for bullies and in the Christmas pageant, they're always sheep. Please, please, let them be friends.
You know who the real crooks are -- those sleazy Hollywood producers.
Homer: Hey, when do we get the check for this?
Marge: Well, they said they changed it just enough so they don't have to pay us.
Homer: You know who the real crooks are -- those sleazy Hollywood producers.
Occasionally the police arrived to search my home.
Principal Skinner: Occasionally the police arrived to search my home. ... I shouted until I was hoarse, but they couldn't hear me.
[begin flashback]
Principal Skinner: I'm in here!
Chief Wiggum: Well, let's go.
[end flashback]
I made a game of it, seeing how many times I could bounce the ball in a day, then trying to break that record.
For the next week, I stayed alive by eating my mother's delicious preserves and maintained my sanity by dribbling a nearby basketball with my one free hand. I made a game of it, seeing how many times I could bounce the ball in a day, then trying to break that record.
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