Maybe there's something else to do on this planet.

Marge: Aren't you going to watch the rest of your cute cartoons?

Bart: Nah. Come on, Lise.

Lisa: Maybe there's something else to do on this planet.

You are my best friend.

Scratchy: Lemonade?

Itchy: Please.

Scratchy: I made it just for you.

Itchy: You are my best friend.

The Itchy and Scratchy Show!

They fight and bite
They fight and bite and fight
Bite bite bite, fight fight fight
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!

I almost forgot. To add a real element of danger, one drop of human blood.

I almost forgot. To add a real element of danger, one drop of human blood.

Live from the Springfield Center for the Performing Arts, the wrestling match of the century!

Live from the Springfield Center for the Performing Arts, the wrestling match of the century!

Uh-oh. I mean, GOOD!

Uh-oh. I mean, GOOD!

The dancing-est hemisphere of all!

Radio Announcer: And now, get set for our fabulous halftime show, featuring the well-groomed young go-getters of Hurray for Everything!

Homer: Oh, I love those kids! They've got such a great attitude!

Radio Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Hurray for Everything invites you to join them in a salute to the greatest hemisphere on earth: the Western hemisphere! The dancing-est hemisphere of all!

Looks like they'll be feeding him Thanksgiving dinner through a tube.

Gil #1: Oh, what a hit!

Gil #2: Yeah, he's out cold, Gil.

Gil #1: Oh yes sir. Looks like they'll be feeding him Thanksgiving dinner through a tube.

Gil #2: Hope they can fit a turkey in there.

Gil #1: Get on with it, Gil.

What's the sound of one hand clapping?

Lisa: Bart, I have a riddle for you. What's the sound of one hand clapping?

Bart: Piece of cake.

Lisa: No Bart, It's a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It's supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought.

Bart: No answer? Lisa, listen up!

Give up, Homeboy, there's a six-stroke limit.

Give up, Homeboy, there's a six-stroke limit.

For the first time in my life, people weren't laughing at me.

For the first time in my life, people weren't laughing at me. They were laughing towards me.

Well, Simpsie, you up for another wave?

Mr. Burns: Well, Simpsie, you up for another wave?

Homer: All right, Burnsie.

All right! Three-eyed fish!

Mr. Burns: Mmm, smells delightful.

Bart: All right! Three-eyed fish!

Lisa, you're learning many lessons tonight and one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.

Lisa, you're learning many lessons tonight and one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.

Dear God: We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.

Dear God: We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.

Hey! Hello, handsome!

Hairdresser: Well, what do we think?

Homer: Hey! Hello, handsome!

Burns' Campaign Leader: Get that off his face. We're eating with the common man, not Tyrone Power.

Kids, please leave the room. I don't want you to see this.

Homer: Oh, by the way, the night before the election, Mr. Burns is coming over for dinner.

Marge: What!?

Homer: Oh, and some reporters and camera crews, but you don't have to feed them.

Bart: Cool, man! A media circus!

Marge: Absolutely not!

Homer: Come on, Marge!

Marge: Mm-mm. I'm going to be ringing doorbells for Mary Bailey that night.

Homer: D'oh! Kids, please leave the room. I don't want you to see this.

Bart: Uh-oh.

Homer: Please please please please please please please please please please...

Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation.

Oh, hello friends, I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor and I'm here to talk to you about my little friend here, Blinky. Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. But don't take my word for it. Let's ask an actor portraying Charles Darwin what he thinks.

That should just about do it.

That should just about do it.

Life with the Simpsons. What choice do I have?

House: Hmm. Life with the Simpsons. What choice do I have?

Homer: Wow!

Bart: Bitchin'!

Lisa: It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can't help but feel a little rejected.

My mother taught me never to kiss a fool!

Homer: I'm just a big fool.

Karl: Oh no, you're not.

Homer: How do you know?

Karl: Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool!

It's like reals-ville, daddy-o.

It's like reals-ville, daddy-o.

Hey, what's happening, hepcats?

Hey, what's happening, hepcats?

Take a step and say it!

Karl: You don't belong here.

Homer: Huh?

Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony, and it's only a matter of time until they find you out.

Homer: Who told you?

Karl: You did. You told me, with the way you slump your shoulders, the way that you talk into your chest, the way you smother yourself in bargain basement lime-green polyester. I want you to say to yourself, "I deserve this. I love it. I am nature's greatest miracle." Go ahead, say it.

Homer: I- I-

Karl: Trust me, Homer.

Homer: I-

Karl: Take a step and say it!

Homer: I deserve this.

Karl: Louder.

Homer: I deserve this!

Karl: Shout it.

Homer: I am nature's greatest miracle!

Karl: I'll need three weeks' vacation and moving expenses.

Homer: You got it buddy!

Karl: Let's go shopping!

Concentrate, man!

Delegate: Look, John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!

Bart: Do you want to be held back a grade? Concentrate, man!

Wake up and look at the snow!

Marge: Wake up, Bart. Rise and shine, little guy.

Bart: Oh, no.

Marge: Wake up and look at the snow!

Soon you'll be ready to try it with a real book.

Soon you'll be ready to try it with a real book.

What'd you get for number one?

What about that history test? Piece of cake? What'd you get for number one? Number two? Yeah, that sounds right.

Quiet, Bart! Let's make the best of this.

Ms. Botz: While I finish up, you guys can watch the rest of your favorite videocassette.

Lisa: Quiet, Bart! Let's make the best of this.

You know, Marge, this is just like when we were dating.

Homer: You know, Marge, this is just like when we were dating.

Marge: Except for one thing--no chaperone.

Bart, you're just like Chilly, the elf who cannot love.

Bart: Oh, man, I can't take it anymore.

Lisa: But I want to see what happens!

Bart: You know what happens. They find Captain Kook's treasure. All the elves dance around like idiots. I puke. The end.

Lisa: Bart, you're just like Chilly, the elf who cannot love.

Smooth as a baby's behind!

Smooth as a baby's behind! Ba, ba, ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba, ba, ba!

Uh, I'd like some flowers.

Homer: Uh, I'd like some flowers.

Florist: What kind of flowers?

Homer: You know, pretty ones, not dead.

Bart, there's one left, and it's mine.

Bart: Hey, doughnuts!

Lisa: Bart, there's one left, and it's mine.

Snap out of it, Bart!

Bart: You backstabber, you traitor, you--

Lisa: Snap out of it, Bart!

I can't read or write!

District attorney: What's the matter? Can't you read?

Krusty: No, I can't! I can't read or write! I admit it! I'm totally illiterate. Now are you happy?

Judge Snyder: Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself?

Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze

Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze, but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly, so please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.

This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers -- Krusty's near-fatal, on-the-air heart attack in 1986.

Kent Brockman: From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi, Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers -- Krusty's near-fatal, on-the-air heart attack in 1986.

...

Krusty: Mmm. Look. Plump succulent sausage, honey-smoked bacon and glistening, sizzling -- I'm dying. I'm dying!