Showing posts with label Smithers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Smithers. Show all posts
One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.
Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.
I told him to do that.
[Darryl Strawberry hits a long homerun into traffic outside the park]
Mr. Burns: I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy, sir.
What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?
Smithers: What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?
Mr. Burns: Oh, I don't know. Throw it on the pile, I suppose.
How would you like to be a ringer on a small-town company softball team?
Smithers: How would you like to be a ringer on a small-town company softball team?
Steve Sax: Would I!
How ya doin', you old Alpha Tau!
Smithers: We only have two openings, so I'm afraid one of you will have to go home empty-handed... But it won't be my old frat buddy, Lou Collier! How ya doin', you old Alpha Tau!
Lou Collier: Smithers, you keg-meister, you!
Protect me from the Germans!
Horst: All right, Mr. Burns. You win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared. Ooh, the Germans. Uh-oh, the Germans are coming to get me.
Horst: Stop that!
Hans: Stop it, please.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't let the Germans come after me!
Hans: Please stop the pretending you are scared game.
Mr. Burns: Oh no, the Germans are coming after me. Oh, no, they're so big and strong.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns: Protect me from the Germans!
Horst: Burns, stop it!
Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose, Smithers, we're going in!
Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned. Hold your nose, Smithers, we're going in!
I dreamed of grand slam homeruns and wiping out nations with the stroke of a pen.
Mr. Burns: Snappy, you know it's hard to imagine, but I was once a barefoot boy with cheek of tan. I dreamed of grand slam homeruns and wiping out nations with the stroke of a pen.
Smithers as Snappy: Well there's still time for all those things, sir.
Mr. Burns: Is there? Controlled nuclear fission is a demanding mistress, Snappy.
Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable talking to Snappy the Alligator.
Smithers: Sir, I feel there's something you're not telling me. Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable talking to Snappy the Alligator.
Mr. Burns: Maybe...
Smithers as Snappy: Hello, Mr. Burns.
The shampoo specifically said "No More Tears."
Smithers: What's wrong sir, did I get some in your eyes? The shampoo specifically said "No More Tears."
Mr. Burns: A lovely promise, but one beyond the powers of a mere shampoo.
It's a breakthrough product, sir: scientifically formulated to rinse clean with no oily deposits.
Smithers: It's a breakthrough product, sir: scientifically formulated to rinse clean with no oily deposits.
Mr. Burns: [bored] Hot dog.
Smithers: And it's mild enough to use every day!
Mr. Burns: [tired] Isn't life grand?
Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes...
Mr. Burns: Now, take out that brain and flush it down the toilet.
Smithers: Sir, his family might appreciate it if you returned the brain to his body.
Mr. Burns: Oh, come on. It's 11:45! Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes... all right.
It's alive!
Look, Smithers, a twitch. It's moving. It's alive! Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad. Well, who's mad now?
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