Homer! Homer! Homer!
Showing posts with label Homer at the Bat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homer at the Bat. Show all posts
Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying.
Mr. Burns: If I tug the bill of my cap like so...
Homer: Yes.
Mr. Burns: ...it means the signal is a fake.
Homer: Uh uh.
Mr. Burns: However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly.
Homer: Got it.
Mr. Burns: If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice! If I tug this ear, it means I'm telling you to take the pitch. If I tug this ear...
Homer's brain: Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying. Why doesn't he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips... Mmm potato chips.
Mr. Burns: ...people will think I'm bidding you "Good day," when in fact I'm telling you to swing for the fences! Got that Simpson?
Homer: Yes, sir!
Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself.
Marge: Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself. [long beat] Kids?
Bart: We'll tell ya, Mom.
I told him to do that.
[Darryl Strawberry hits a long homerun into traffic outside the park]
Mr. Burns: I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy, sir.
You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Mr. Burns: You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Darryl Strawberry: Okay, Skip!
Children, that's not very nice.
Bart and Lisa: Dar-ryl, Dar-ryl.
Marge: Children, that's not very nice.
Lisa: Mom, they're professional athletes. They're used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their backs.
Once you go in, you may never come out.
Ozzie Smith: How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry.
Ticket taker: Well, it's hard to say, my friend. Once you go in, you may never come out.
Ozzie Smith: Wow! One please.
Pitt the Elder!
Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.
Dr. Hibbert: Uh, Mike, try to lift your arm.
Mike Scioscia: Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, I'm afraid you have a case of acute radiation poisoning, Mr. Scioscia.
Mike Scioscia: Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?
Dr. Hibbert: [chuckles] No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breathe.
Mike Scioscia: Oh... man.
These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonderbat."
Homer: These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonderbat."
Homer: [screams]
You will give one hundred and ten percent.
Hypnotist: You are all very good players.
All the players: [hypnotized] We are all very good players.
Hypnotist: You will beat Shelbyville.
All the players: [hypnotized] We will beat Shelbyville.
Hypnotist: You will give one hundred and ten percent.
All the players: [hypnotized] That's impossible. No one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition that is the most any one can give.
What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?
Smithers: What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?
Mr. Burns: Oh, I don't know. Throw it on the pile, I suppose.
Wow! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.
Wow! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.
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