This looks like a discount for... Bartman!
Lisa: Too bad we didn't come dressed as popular cartoon characters.
Bart: This looks like a discount for... Bartman!
Hey Grampa, top me off.
Bart: Hey Grampa, top me off.
Grampa: Are you sure your Ma lets you kids drink coffee?
Bart: For the last time, yes!
She's the Queen of the Harpies!
John: She's the Queen of the Harpies!
Gloria: No, I'm not.
John: Here's your crown, Your Majesty!
Oh, just give me the list! I can read.
Marge: Now if Maggie runs a fever, you call this number. If she sticks her finger in an electrical socket, call this number. If she drinks pine cleanser, call this--
Grampa: Oh, just give me the list! I can read.
You're going to stay here and explain to Bart why you scarred him for life.
Marge: You're going to stay here and explain to Bart why you scarred him for life.
Homer: No, I didn't! I-- Oh. You mean inside, don't you?
Is that a new kind of Mace? Really painful.
Hey, you're Homer's sister in law, right? I remember you, but I don't remember you being so beau[belches]tiful. Ow! Hey! [belching and coughing] Is that a new kind of Mace? Really painful.
One for Martin. Two for Martin!
Bart: I demand a re-count!
Mrs. Krabappel: One for Martin. Two for Martin! Would you like another recount?
"Why me? What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of...?"
You'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.
We demand more asbestos!
Martin: In a sample taken in this very classroom, a state inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!
Bart: That's not enough! We demand more asbestos!
Bart! Bart! Bart!
Mrs. Krabappel: People! What have I told you about encouraging him? When Bart wins approval for making a fool of himself, it makes him think that he's--
Milhouse: Yay, Bart!
Children: Bart! Bart! Bart!
Malignant spirochetes infest your bloodstream, eventually spreading to your spinal fluid and on into the brain.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I invite you to behold: Montgomery Burns.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I invite you to behold: Montgomery Burns.
He's just a mean little SOB!
Marge: Homer! What are you doing? Give me that!
Homer: No, Burns is right. What's the use?
Marge: Don't you listen to him! He's just a mean little SOB!
It's scalding me as we speak.
Mr. Burns: Bah! Too hot!
Smithers: You're right, sir. It's scalding me as we speak.
Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinking / What the hell have you been drinking?
Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinking
What the hell have you been drinking?
Is it water? Is it wine?
Oh, my gosh, it's turpentine!
Now Homer, we've got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you.
Marge: Now Homer, we've got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you.
Homer: Whoa, wait a minute. Well hey, I've been setting my drinks on these things.
Marge: Well, they're only 35 calories apiece.
Homer: Hello? Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?
Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it. It looks just like a cigar! Isn't that something?
Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it. It looks just like a cigar! Isn't that something?
You know, people think only mules can pull carts. Impatient people think that, but patient people know better.
You know, people think only mules can pull carts. Impatient people think that, but patient people know better.
Free to loving home, world's most brilliant dog. Says "I love you!" on command.
Free to loving home, world's most brilliant dog. Says "I love you!" on command.
It's not the end of the world. We all loved that quilt.
Marge: My quilt! Six generations, ruined!
Homer: Now, Marge, honey, honey, honey, come on, come on, don't get upset. It's not the end of the world. We all loved that quilt. But you can't get too attached to-- Aaaa! My cookie! This is not happening! This is not happening!
Sometimes you've gotta spoil yourself... spoil yourself... spoil yourself...
Sometimes you've gotta spoil yourself... spoil yourself... spoil yourself...
It is NOT MY DOG! I tied MY DOG outside MY SELF! I am looking at him right-- D'OH!
To think I wasted my life in boardrooms and stockholders meetings, when I could've been watching cartoons!
To think I wasted my life in boardrooms and stockholders meetings, when I could've been watching cartoons!
SORT OF!
Herb: Listen to me. Here's what you do. From now on, before you say anything, say to yourself: "If I was ever sure of anything, I'm sure of this!" Do you understand?
Homer: Sort of.
Herb: Homer?
Homer: What.
Herb: Answer me again with self-confidence!
Homer: SORT OF!
Herb: Now, go get 'em!
Pony ride. Boat ride. Pony ride. Boat ride.
Herb: Whatever you kids want to do today, you just tell Unky Herb.
Marge: Oh, dear.
Lisa: I want to go on a pony ride, Unky Herb.
Bart: I want to go on a boat ride, Unky Herb.
Lisa: Pony ride!
Bart: Boat ride!
Lisa: Pony ride!
Bart: Boat ride!
Lisa: Pony ride!
Bart: Boat ride!
Lisa: Pony ride!
Bart: Boat ride!
A millionaire!? Ooh, I kept the wrong one.
A millionaire!? Ooh, I kept the wrong one. Look son, I'll come as soon as I can get out of here. In the meantime, PLEASE don't do anything stupid.
Watch me dive! Watch me dive!
Lisa and Bart: Watch me dive! Watch me dive!
Homer: OKAY, we're watching!
Marge: I hope we're not spoiling them.
Bart: Man, you weren't watching, I did a double whammy with a half...
Lisa: Hey, you didn't see what I did, you didn't watch me dive...
And our three children, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.
Homer: And our three children, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.
Bart: Hello, sir.
Lisa: Hello, Mr. Powell.
Herb: All born in wedlock?
Homer: Yeah, though the boy was a close call.
Detroit. He lives in Detroit.
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: Well, I do sympathize with your situation, Mr. Simpson. After all, your brother could be anywhere, even...Detroit.
Homer: I know he could be anywhere! That's why I want you to narrow it down, please!
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: You know, Mr. Simpson, if you ask me, the city of brotherly love isn't Philadelphia, it's DETROIT.
Homer: Well, if you ask ME, changing the subject makes you the most worthless, heartless excuse for a human being I ever--
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: Read between the lines, you fool!
Homer: Oh, oh, I get it! Okay. Here's 20 bucks. Now, will you tell me where my brother lives?
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: Mr. Simpson, I don't want--
Homer: Just take it and tell me!
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: Detroit. He lives in Detroit.
Homer: Fine. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for MY brother today.
Dr. Hibbert's Brother: I know how you feel Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother--
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for MY brother today. Can you tell me his name?
Interesting theory.
Grampa: What are you blubbering about?
Homer: This makes me feel special, Dad. Since I'm the one you kept, that must mean you really love me.
Grampa: Mmm, interesting theory.
Now I'm thinking about holding another meeting -- in bed.
Woman: You certainly broke up that meeting.
McBain: Right now I'm thinking about holding another meeting -- in bed.
Woman: Oh, McBain!
Tomorrow is another school day!
Oh, Springfield Elementary, I will have you back again. After all, tomorrow is another school day!
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