Welcome to our video honeymoon.

Selma: Welcome to our video honeymoon. We're using the video camera Cousin Dot gave us, and the video cassette Homer gave us.

Homer: Hey, and after we watch this, we can tape over it.

Oooh, there's Krusty the Clown! Krusty, Krusty, say something funny.

Marge: Oooh, there's Krusty the Clown! Krusty, Krusty, say something funny.

Krusty: [trapped; nervous] Uh... gee, a joke. Hmm, yeah, funny...

I do.

Reverend Lovejoy: Do you Bob, take Selma, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?

Sideshow Bob: I do.

Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull.

Man: Thank you, Señor MacGyver. You saved our village.

MacGyver: Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull.

Ow!

Orville: I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.

Hurley: You bitter?

Orville: Yep. Bit him too. [laughing] Ow!

It's time again for Ya Hoo!

Hold onto your pitchforks everybody! It's time again for Ya Hoo!

All our money's tied up in this woman.

Marge: All our money's tied up in this woman. If she fails, we're broke. If she succeeds, I have no husband. I don't know what to root for.

Patty: You don't?

We're getting some kind of grinding noise on the track.

Lurleen, we're gonna have to cut you off. We're getting some kind of grinding noise on the track.

Hey Dad, can I do a hambone solo?

Bart: Hey Dad, can I do a hambone solo?

Homer: Stop it.

This time love is for real...

So I spit on my hands
Knocked the dirt from my spikes
And pointed right toward center field
This time I'm hittin' a home run
This time love is for real

Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart...

Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart
When the coach called me up to the plate
I'd been swingin' and missin' at lovin' and kissin'
My average was point double aught eight

Come on boys, let's break some hearts.

Come on boys, let's break some hearts.

Put it back! Put it back!

Nurse 1: Doctor, you weren't supposed to remove his gall bladder.

Nurse 2: Put it back! Put it back!

It's a song I wrote while I was moppin' up your dried blood and teeth.

Tonight I'd like to try something a little different. It's a song I wrote while I was moppin' up your dried blood and teeth.

Ooh, a redneck bar.

Ooh, a redneck bar.

Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.

Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.