Look Lisa, I bought you a Malibu Stacy chinchilla coat.
Look Lisa, I bought you a Malibu Stacy chinchilla coat.
My third husband bought me this. Give me some chips for it.
Lisa: My third husband bought me this. Give me some chips for it.
Dealer: Are you sure, ma'am?
Lisa: Don't tell me what to do, Sonny. I've been gambling since I was eight. And I've been hockin' jewelry since I was twelve. Now give me some chips!
So that's it. You just wanted me to help you gamble. You never wanted to be with me at all.
Lisa: So that's it. You just wanted me to help you gamble. You never wanted to be with me at all.
Marge: You're a very selfish man.
Box: Go to hell! Go to hell!
Bart: Hey, once again. Great present, Dad.
The kids are happy, you smell like Meryl Streep, and I've got that foot massager I've always wanted.
Look, what's the problem? The kids are happy, you smell like Meryl Streep, and I've got that foot massager I've always wanted.
Dad, I promise you I will never get tired of this.
Dad, I promise you I will never get tired of this.
Shut up. Shut up. Kiss my butt. Shut up. Go to Hell. Go to Hell.
Shut up. Shut up. Kiss my butt. Shut up. Go to Hell. Go to Hell.
He doesn't look too happy.
Bret: It is the playoffs, it's five below and there's one loyal fan wearing nothing but a g-string and the team colors painted on his body.
Jimmy: He doesn't look too happy.
Bret: Well, maybe the paint has shut off his pores and he's slowly suffocating. Still, that is a real fan.
Marco, just bring us your freshest bottle of wine. Chop, chop.
Marco, just bring us your freshest bottle of wine. Chop, chop.
C'mon, c'mon! Don't you realize this is costing me money?
Coach: [very slowly] You have reached the Coach's Hot...
Homer: Line...
Coach: line.
Homer: Yeah, lay it on me, coach.
Coach: In the game of Mi-a-mi...
Homer: Mm-hm.
Coach: ...versus Cin-
Homer: Cincinnati...
Coach: cin-
Homer: Cincinnati.
Coach: nat-
Homer: Cincinnati.
Coach: ti...
Homer: C'mon, c'mon! Don't you realize this is costing me money?
Coach: [slowly] We must consider many things. The wind...
Homer: D'oh, not the wind.
Coach: ...is blowing out of the west...
Homer: Oh...
Coach: at five
Homer: ...miles per hour.
Coach: knots...
Five dollars for the first minute. Two dollars for each additional minute.
Well you need to know the winners. And I know the winners. So call me now! Whoa! [fast] Five dollars for the first minute. Two dollars for each additional minute.
After evaluating millions of pieces of data in the blink of an eye, the Gambletron 2000 says the winner is...
After evaluating millions of pieces of data in the blink of an eye, the Gambletron 2000 says the winner is... [reading a printout] Cincinnati by two hundred points?!
Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story.
I wanted to do something to help that boy. So I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?" I said Thursday -- he said, "I'm busy Thursday" -- I said, "What about Friday?" He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday." Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story.
Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him.
Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him.
You're the birthday / You're the birthday / You're the birthday / Boy or girl!
Robot Weasel: Hey there, I hear it's your birthday. How old are you?
Bart: Well, I'm --
Robot Weasel: [cutting him off] That's great! Would you like us to sing you a special song?
Bart: Hell, no.
Robot Weasel: You got it! Ready, Señor Beaver-otti?
Señor Beaver-otti: I'm-a ready. And-a one and-a two...
Robot Animals: [singing] You're the birthday / You're the birthday / You're the birthday / Boy or girl!
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