Milhouse: Bart, I didn't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
Chuck: There stands a broken man.
Ralph: It's recess everywhere but in his heart.
Lisa: Dad! Dad! Do you know what today is?
Homer: The vernal equinox?
But in real life, Santa would be suffering from gallstones, hypertension, impotence, and diabetes.
Americans have grown up with the image of the jolly fat man. Dom DeLuise, Alfred Hitchcock, and of course, Santa Claus.
This sucks. Where is that channel changer? [several feeble grunts] Oh, eh, I'll give it a chance.
Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?
Mrs. Krabappel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.
Class, in order to explain why your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, I will now show a short sex education film. Ezekiel and Ismail, in accordance with your parents' wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls.
