Oh, you stupid dryer!

Oh, you stupid dryer!

I'm rich again! USA! USA! USA!

I'm rich again! USA! USA! USA!

Well, I really think we need to replace the washer and dryer.

Well, I really think we need to replace the washer and dryer.

I think we should get a machine gun. We could use it to hunt game, spell out things, or ring in the new year!

I don't know what this switch does.

I don't know what this switch does.

I think this chair is the answer.

Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service. But those were dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.

Bart, I didn't want you to see me cry.

Milhouse: Bart, I didn't want you to see me cry.

Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

It's recess everywhere but in his heart.

Chuck: There stands a broken man.

Ralph: It's recess everywhere but in his heart.

Dad! Dad! Do you know what today is?

Lisa: Dad! Dad! Do you know what today is?

Homer: The vernal equinox?

But in real life, Santa would be suffering from gallstones, hypertension, impotence, and diabetes.

But in real life, Santa would be suffering from gallstones, hypertension, impotence, and diabetes.

Americans have grown up with the image of the jolly fat man.

Americans have grown up with the image of the jolly fat man. Dom DeLuise, Alfred Hitchcock, and of course, Santa Claus.

Where is that channel changer?

This sucks. Where is that channel changer? [several feeble grunts] Oh, eh, I'll give it a chance.

Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.

Samantha: How do we know when we fall in love?

Mrs. Krabappel: Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.

I will now show a short sex education film.

Class, in order to explain why your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans, I will now show a short sex education film. Ezekiel and Ismail, in accordance with your parents' wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls.