Duh, look at me. I'm Principal Skinner.
And now, here's Bart Simpson the boy of a thousand voices.
And now, here's Bart Simpson, The Boy of a Thousand Voices.
Terrible, just terrible. You know, they seem to get worse every year.
Terrible, just terrible. You know, they seem to get worse every year.
Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes...
Mr. Burns: Now, take out that brain and flush it down the toilet.
Smithers: Sir, his family might appreciate it if you returned the brain to his body.
Mr. Burns: Oh, come on. It's 11:45! Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes... all right.
It's alive!
Look, Smithers, a twitch. It's moving. It's alive! Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad. Well, who's mad now?
Smithers, hand me that ice cream scoop.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, hand me that ice cream scoop.
Smithers: Ice cream scoop?
Mr. Burns: Damn it, Smithers! This isn't rocket science; it's brain surgery!
Well, who is a model ... employee?
Smithers: Wait a minute, sir. That's Homer Simpson. He wasn't exactly a model employee.
Mr. Burns: Well, who is a model ... employee?
Smithers: Ehhh... Simpson will do just fine, sir.
How'd you know I was sleeping?
Smithers: Attention, Homer Simpson. Attention, Homer Simpson. Wake up, Homer.
Homer: Huh? What?
Smithers: You're fired.
Homer: For what?
Smithers: For sleeping on the job.
Homer: How'd you know I was sleeping?
Smithers: We've been watching you on the surveillance camera.
Homer: Camera? D'oh!
Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers, lay-abouts, slug-a-beds...
Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers, lay-abouts, slug-a-beds...
The kick is up. It's looking good. The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy! And it's no good.
The kick is up. It's looking good. The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy! And it's no good.
Moe's Tavern. Hold on, I'll check.
Moe's Tavern. Hold on, I'll check. ... Hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.
Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... we love that boy...
Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... we love that boy...
Why at that little shop, right over... there.
Marge: Ugghh, Homer. Where did you get that ugly thing?
Homer: Why at that little shop, right over... there.
If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Marge: If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Bart: Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!
Lisa: Oh yeah, three bad nightmares.
Homer: I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!
Now children, you can have one piece of candy tonight and save the rest for...
Now children, you can have one piece of candy tonight and save the rest for...
Oh, Noah, Noah! Save us! Save us!
Bart as drowning people: Agugugug! Glug glug glug. Oh, Noah, Noah! Save us! Save us!
Bart as Noah: No!
And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher?
Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father? And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher? Wasn't that a beautiful cartoon?
Academy Award Playhouse now returns you to Hercules Versus the Martians.
Academy Award Playhouse now returns you to Hercules Versus the Martians.
A rabbi would never exaggerate.
A rabbi would never exaggerate. A rabbi composes, he creates thoughts, he tells stories that may never have happened, but he does not exaggerate.
You'll do as I say or you'll get such a zetz that you won't even know what hit you!
Krusty the Clown: Papa? When I grow up, can I be a clown?
Rabbi Krustofsky: No! A clown is not a respected member of the community.
Krusty the Clown: But I wanna make people laugh.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Herschel, life is not fun. Life is serious. Seltzer is for drinking, not for spraying. Pie is for noshing, not for throwing.
Krusty the Clown: But, Papa--
Rabbi Krustofsky: But nothing! You'll do as I say or you'll get such a zetz that you won't even know what hit you!
Um... Is it right to buy a Chrysler?
Krusty the Clown: My father was the most respected man in the Lower East Side of Springfield. People would come from miles around to ask his advice.
...
Man: Rabbi, should I buy a Chrysler?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Eh, could you rephrase that as a, as an ethical question?
Man: Um... Is it right to buy a Chrysler?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Oh, yes! For great is the car with power steering and dyna-flo suspension!
This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated.
Krusty the Clown: Ooh, SEX-CHAT!
Voice: You've reached the Party Line. In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party with some of the world's most beautiful women. Now, let's join the party!
Krusty the Clown: Hello?
Man 1: Hello?
Man 2: Hello?
Apu: Are there any women here?
Krusty the Clown: Hello?!
Apu: Are you a beautiful woman?
Krusty the Clown: Do I sound like a beautiful woman?!
Apu: This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated.
I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent.
I always suspected that nothing in life mattered. Now I know for sure. Get bent.
-- Bart Simpson
Dear Krusty: This is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302, respectfully returning his badge.
Dear Krusty: This is Bart Simpson, Krusty Buddy #16302, respectfully returning his badge.
This could be the start of something big!
You're walking along the street or you're at a party
Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig, dig, dig
This could be the start of something big!
Lousy mildew! Eh. That's good enough.
Miss Pennycandy: I'm sorry to inform you that Krusty will once again not be joining Bart for dinner.
Marge: Oh, dear! This is the fifth time he's cancelled. How can he hurt someone who loves him so?
Miss Pennycandy: Oh, Mrs. Simpson, I've wasted my womanhood asking that same question. I apologize for him. Something really important came up at the last minute.
Krusty the Clown: Lousy mildew! Eh. That's good enough.
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