Bart: Come one, come all! Top Hat Theater is on the air! The most beautiful women in the world! Just fifty cents! I am your host, Bart Simpson! You must be at least eight years old to enter.
TV: And now, The Top Hat Channel is honored to present: Broadcast Nudes.
All: Ooh!
Milhouse: Gross!
Martin: Yet strangely compelling.
How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness!?
Friday night, live from Las Vegas. The ultimate match-up. The bout to knock the other guy out. It's Watson-Tatum 2. This time... it's for money! Only on the Blockbuster Channel!
TV: If you didn't catch it in the theater, or rent it, or see it someplace else, we've got it! On the Blockbuster Channel!
Lisa: Dad, why is the world such a cesspool of corruption?
Homer: Oh, great.
The Devil: Come on, Lisa. Watch a little cable with us. It won't cost you a thing. Except your soul!
Lisa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Marge: What's gotten into Lisa?
Bart: Beats the HELL out of me!
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Are there pirates in hell?
Ms. Albright: Yes. Thousands of them.
Bart: Oh, baby!
TV: Mr. Speaker, if I could call your attention to the retroactive subsidy appropriations override bill. I refer you to page four thousand five hundred and--
Homer: They must think people will watch anything.
TV: Live, from New Orleans. This is the World Series of Cockfighting! Oh, son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou tonight.
TV: Poopsie the Clown is a treasure that will last a lifetime.
Homer: Cable. It's more wonderful than I dared hope!
