What's the point? They'll never notice.
Marge: Lisa, I know you're down on homemaking, but it can really let you be creative. See, this morning I turned bacon, eggs, and toast into a nice smiley face for Bart and Homer.
Lisa: What's the point? They'll never notice.
Ooh, they used nylon rope this time.
Ooh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin. Almost sensuous.
Stupid fingers.
Forte: Well, I'll be frank with you, Lisa. And when I say frank, I mean, you know, devastating. You've inherited a finger condition known as "stubbiness." It usually comes from the father's side.
Homer: Stupid fingers.
Wait a minute. Isn't anybody going to follow in my footsteps?
Wait a minute. Isn't anybody going to follow in my footsteps?
Lousy sheriff. Run me out of town. He's lost my vote.
Dr. J. Loren Pryor: You know, before I saw these test results I had you pegged as a drifter.
Bart: Wow, a drifter.
[begin dream]
Bart: Lousy sheriff. Run me out of town. He's lost my vote.
[end dream]
Bart: Cool.
Now, class, I promised you a surprise today...
Mrs. Krabappel: Now, class, I promised you a surprise today...
Milhouse: Wow!
Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying.
Mr. Burns: If I tug the bill of my cap like so...
Homer: Yes.
Mr. Burns: ...it means the signal is a fake.
Homer: Uh uh.
Mr. Burns: However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly.
Homer: Got it.
Mr. Burns: If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice! If I tug this ear, it means I'm telling you to take the pitch. If I tug this ear...
Homer's brain: Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying. Why doesn't he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips... Mmm potato chips.
Mr. Burns: ...people will think I'm bidding you "Good day," when in fact I'm telling you to swing for the fences! Got that Simpson?
Homer: Yes, sir!
Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself.
Marge: Children, tell me when your father stops scratching himself. [long beat] Kids?
Bart: We'll tell ya, Mom.
I told him to do that.
[Darryl Strawberry hits a long homerun into traffic outside the park]
Mr. Burns: I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy, sir.
You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Mr. Burns: You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Darryl Strawberry: Okay, Skip!
Children, that's not very nice.
Bart and Lisa: Dar-ryl, Dar-ryl.
Marge: Children, that's not very nice.
Lisa: Mom, they're professional athletes. They're used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their backs.
Once you go in, you may never come out.
Ozzie Smith: How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry.
Ticket taker: Well, it's hard to say, my friend. Once you go in, you may never come out.
Ozzie Smith: Wow! One please.
Pitt the Elder!
Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.
Dr. Hibbert: Uh, Mike, try to lift your arm.
Mike Scioscia: Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, I'm afraid you have a case of acute radiation poisoning, Mr. Scioscia.
Mike Scioscia: Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?
Dr. Hibbert: [chuckles] No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breathe.
Mike Scioscia: Oh... man.
These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonderbat."
Homer: These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonderbat."
Homer: [screams]
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