I can't stand to see him like this!

I can't stand to see him like this!

What a beautiful little girl.

Selma: How do I know I'm getting quality?

Sperm Doctor: Don't worry. Our donors have to pass a rigorous screening process.

Barney: All done!

Nurse: Thank you.

Barney: Always a pleasure. What a beautiful little girl.

Baby: [Barney belch]

Other Babies: [belch] [belch] [belch]

Didn't I?

Leonard Nimoy: Well, my work is done here.

Barney: What do you mean, your work is done? You didn't do anything.

Leonard Nimoy: Didn't I?

Yeah, Bart, I am so Krunchy the Klown.

Bart: That's not Krusty the Clown.

Mr. Black: What do you think, I slapped a clown suit on some wino? [nervous laugh]

Barney: Yeah, Bart, I am so Krunchy the Clown. [belch]

Pitt the Elder!

Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.

Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.

Barney: Lord Palmerston!

Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!

Hey, Homer. I think I've got her!

Barney: Hey, Homer. I think I've got her! Come on!

Homer: Barney! You're gonna pull her arm off!

Barney: The sooner I get her out, the sooner we can have omelets.

Whoa! Someone smells stinky!

Whoa! Someone smells stinky! [sniffing shirt] Oh, it's me.

Well, well, if it isn't little Bart. Remember your Uncle Barney?

Well, well, if it isn't little Bart. Remember your Uncle Barney?

Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic!

Every teddy bear who's been good is sure of a treat today
There's lots of marvelous things to eat, and wonderful games to play
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic!

Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... we love that boy...

Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... we love that boy...

Is that a new kind of Mace? Really painful.

Hey, you're Homer's sister in law, right? I remember you, but I don't remember you being so beau[belches]tiful. Ow! Hey! [belching and coughing] Is that a new kind of Mace? Really painful.