Homer: Oof.
Dr. Nick: Oh, dear. I see no signs of life. Just to be safe, we better pull the plug.
Showing posts with label Mr. Burns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mr. Burns. Show all posts
No one will be spared! No one!
Kent Brockman: Mr. Burns, you mentioned you wanted an opening tirade.
Mr. Burns: Yes, thank you, Kent. Fifteen minutes from now, I will wreak a terrible vengeance on this city! No one will be spared! No one!
One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere.
One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
"It was the best of times. It was the 'blurst' of times?" You stupid monkey!
"It was the best of times. It was the 'blurst' of times?" You stupid monkey!
Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man.
This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man.
Oh my God! He is coming on to me.
Mr. Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer's Brain: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer's Brain: Wait a minute. Is he coming on to me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer's Brain: Oh my God! He is coming on to me.
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. [chuckles, winks, clicks tongue]
Homer's Brain: Ahh!
You... have a husband?
You... have a husband? Yes, I can picture him now. Rugged good looks, sweater knotted about his shoulders, curly locks shining in the sun like spun gold.
You mean like, "Child Labor Day?"
Mr. Burns: Marge, what can we do?
Marge: Well, you could give them healthier snacks... theme days...
Mr. Burns: You mean like, "Child Labor Day?"
Marge: Mmm. Actually I was thinking of "Funny Hat Day."
Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.
Now here's a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.
Uh, Mr. Burns... I need to borrow some money.
Homer: Uh, Mr. Burns... I need to borrow some money.
Mr. Burns: Please, do go on...
Homer: I know you're a good man, and I have a dog that's very sick...
Mr. Burns: Oh, please, continue.
Homer: I thought maybe you... [seeing guards] Oh. Well, thanks for your time.
Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying.
Mr. Burns: If I tug the bill of my cap like so...
Homer: Yes.
Mr. Burns: ...it means the signal is a fake.
Homer: Uh uh.
Mr. Burns: However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly.
Homer: Got it.
Mr. Burns: If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice! If I tug this ear, it means I'm telling you to take the pitch. If I tug this ear...
Homer's brain: Uh-oh. I don't understand a word he's saying. Why doesn't he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips... Mmm potato chips.
Mr. Burns: ...people will think I'm bidding you "Good day," when in fact I'm telling you to swing for the fences! Got that Simpson?
Homer: Yes, sir!
I told him to do that.
[Darryl Strawberry hits a long homerun into traffic outside the park]
Mr. Burns: I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy, sir.
You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Mr. Burns: You! Strawberry, hit a home run.
Darryl Strawberry: Okay, Skip!
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